Play it again, Sam. I’ve only heard it 5000 times.

Have an original idea for a movie? Well, you better find your own financing, buddy.

Hollywood seemingly has no room for great ideas anymore. In fact, it apparently has no room for ANY ideas, good or bad. Nobody wants to make a movie that isn’t a guaranteed hit before the script has even been written. Studio suits are so risk-averse right now, that many of the great films we’ve enjoyed in the past would probably never have been made in this era.

I’ve seen plenty of movie blogs lamenting the fact that “Hollywood has no original ideas left.” But that’s not the problem. It’s only a symptom of the problem. Why should a starving scriptwriter work up a sweat writing the next Citizen Kane, when he knows that some studio “genius” is going to be just as thrilled with The Squeakquel? Where’s the incentive to innovate?

Today, studios want to buy the rights to an 80s toy property, set up a puppet director who can “make things go boom”, and rake in the millions.

And who’s fault is that?

Yours.

That’s right, you’re to blame. And so am I and every other person who pays money for sequels to films about talking CGI chipmunks, or returns five times to see Avatar. (I liked Avatar. It was passable entertainment, and had gorgeous visuals. But come on. If if it’s a better film than The Hurt Locker, I’m Roger Ebert.)

Why is the general moviegoer so afraid to have to think during a movie? Why do we pay $12.50 for a movie that isn’t any better than an average TV show?

So you really can’t blame the suits, or the scriptwriters. Why should studios pay for a property that is unknown, doesn’t have a built-in “I’ll watch anything with Nicholas Cage in it” audience ready to go, and isn’t easily turned into millions of action figures or Happy Meal toys?

Hey, I like action figures and superheroes as much as the next fanboy. But, I also want to pay money to support small films like 500 Days of Summer, or Precious. For every Dark Knight or Iron Man in production right now, there are 50 Fantastic Four’s in production. And that’s because we reward them for churning them through the assembly line.

The latest example? Remember the bland Mark Wahlberg flick Four Brothers from 2005? Don’t worry, neither does anybody else. Guess what? It’s cheap to film it, and it has a star in Wahlberg, and it has a built in audience of whomever actually liked the first one, so of course it’s getting a sequel (according to IESB.net).

The collective genius of an entire studio, producers, directors, and scriptwriters, and all they could come up with for the title is:

Five Brothers.

No, I am not kidding.